How to survive in England
With the 2012 Olympic Summer Games just around the corner, visitors from across the world will be flocking to the UK. I recently came across an article on what Britons should know about how to behave towards these visitors, so I’d like to look at it from the other point of view. After all, when in London…
Britons are generally friendly and polite, but they are private. The weather is the renowned universal topic of conversation. It’s not that British weather is universally fascinating, it’s just a general, easy topic that anyone can comment on without getting too personal or controversial. However, one must never say nice things about the rain. I fell into this trap more than once having previously been living in a desert. It’s not that they like to complain, it’s just that the shared grumble is an easy way to bond.
Pushiness is also a big no-no. Patience, or at least the appearance of it, is key. Complaining angrily to someone serving you will get you nowhere. You will just be seen as rude and they will be less likely to want to help, even if their company has made the mistake or if you’ve been on hold a long time. When ordering at a pub, you must not call out to the bartender, which is seen as impatience. You must try to attract his attention by making eye contact. It is also helpful to have your money out to show that you are ready. If you are looking around, he will assume that you are not ready, and being too polite to rush you, will serve the next person.
As an aside, in a pub, even when ordering food, you generally order at the bar, pay, and then seat yourself. These are casual dining establishments, so apart from bringing your food, there is no table service. This is different from French cafes, where you generally seat yourself and wait for the waiter to come to you and pay at the table, or American diners, where you are seated, receive table service and then pay on your way out.
Getting back to politeness and patience, this is also shown by the fact that Britons form tidy queues at bus stops the likes of which I haven’t encountered anywhere else. There is no pushing or cutting. The exception is the London underground, out of sheer necessity. This is best avoided during rush hour for people who would prefer not to get very up close and personal with a bunch of strangers. For those who do choose to brave such situations, it is important to avoid loud conversation or making eye contact with strangers, both of which are seen as rudely drawing attention to oneself. The best thing to do is become fascinated with the advertisements near the top of the train cars. Just be sure when shifting your gaze from knee-level to overhead level, to do it quickly without lingering in between.
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